


Unwritten Rules

by Reuker



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abby's a bitch, Bellamy Fucked Up, Clarke looooooves Lexa!, Commander Heart Eyes, Emotional Lexa, F/F, F/M, Possessive Leaders, footage not found, when is she not?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3453659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reuker/pseuds/Reuker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The unwritten rule of sci-fi: the guy always gets the girl. The girl may have a kiss with another girl or even several girls, she may have a relationship with a girl or several girls, but she will always get with the guy in the end. Lesbian relationships are to be experimental only, they never last." Yeah, Lexa doesn't follow the rules, she makes them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lives Saved, Lives Frozen

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FFnet! I'll be posting stories on here and on there, but you can find more stuff on ffnet right now. Same username.  
> "The unwritten rule of sci-fi: the guy always gets the girl. The girl may have a kiss with another girl or even several girls, she may have a relationship with a girl or several girls, but she will always get with the guy in the end. Lesbian relationships are to be experimental only, they never last." Yeah, Lexa doesn't follow the rules, she makes them.
> 
> Inspired by a review I got on FFnet.

Lexa's chest was heaving, and the snarl on her lips made her look more feral than Clarke felt was possible. Her eyes were almost completely black, her jacket having been thrown off after she removed her hood to reveal them. The war paint on her face had been reapplied, giving her a solid black mask akin to a dragon, darker than night with wings that dripped the death that came as a promise in her eyes. A full leather chest plate adorned her chest, appropriate areas doubled with the thick black leather. Though it didn't hinder her movements in the slightest, Clarke noted, as Lexa whirled to sever a man's torso from his legs, her blade cutting through flesh and bone like butter.

Clarke inhaled, calming her already frayed nerves as she waited in anticipation for two Grounders to pry open a set of heavy steel doors. Those doors would lead to Cage Wallace, and Clarke would kill him as promised.

The two massive Grounder men destroyed the door mechanisms, then stuck shafts of tempered steel into the small crack between the two heavily stickered doors. They pried them apart quickly, and Lexa leapt into the room, quickly killing the three unimportant mountain men that stood to protect Cage. They shook in their boots and began to fire, only to drop in pieces moments later. Lexa huffed, slamming her foot into the face of a mountain man whose arm she had severed clear of his body. She broke his nose, and a shard of cartilage was launched into his brain, finally killing him.

Lexa turned to stare at a shaking Cage, fear finally erupting on his usually passive or angry face. Lexa's eyes bore into his with a look that spoke of pain and death. He should be tortured, but she had promised Clarke the final kill, but not after she had a decent bit of time with the bastard. He owed her blood, and she was going to take it for her people, for herself, for Anya, for Costia, for everyone that had suffered and she had never been able to save. He would bear the weight of all their spilled blood.

In one quick movement, Lexa was upon Cage, smashing him into the wall before she brought her blade down against his shoulder, slicing his arm clear off of his torso. Cage screamed, and Clarke rushed into the room, the Grounders staying outside to guard the two leaders.

"Lexa!" Clarke shouted, catching the Commanders wrist just as she was about to bring her sword down to sever Cage's other arm. "That's not what we agreed on."

Lexa snarled, slamming her fist into Cage's throat to keep him occupied. "I give you the final kill, but I must have blood to pay for the blood he has taken from my people."

"He's taken blood from my people too!" Clarke shouted, shoving Lexa back.

The Commander's eyes narrowed, and in a sudden motion she whirled, severing Cage's other arm. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain, but Clarke rushed to hold him up by the front of his ruined mouse-gray suit.

An almost gentle smile had wormed its way onto Clarke's lips, adding to the intensity she brought with her when she stepped into the room. She had been slashed across the bridge of her nose, the blade merely gliding through her skin, but it bled. She suffered a bruise on her jaw, and it turned purple. She still looked to be one of the most terrifying sights Cage had ever laid witness to, and with her deadly Grounder lapdog standing behind her, blade coated in his blood and eyes intense in their fury, he was ready to either piss himself or die. At this point, he preferred death.

But Clarke had some things she wanted to say. She slammed Cage's head back into the screen behind him, shattering the glass and causing the screen to go dark. "You're a sick little shit, Cage Wallace. I've hated you from day one, and I've wanted to kill you since then. But before I do, I just want to let you in on a few things: One, you've lost, your men lay dead by the feet of my own. Two, you too will be dead. Three, the last thing you see, will be my face, so look into the eyes of your executioner, Cage Wallace, and face your fate."

Cage looked directly into Clarke's eyes, his face twisted hideously in pain and misery.

Clarke swallowed, the hand that held her favorite dagger tensing.

She drove it into Cage's heart. She let go of the front of his suit, and his armless, motionless body slid down the wall to slump on the floor.

"Jus drein jus draun," Clarke said firmly, dropping the dagger on the floor, the weight of the day finally coming down in full force.

Lexa stood tall, unwavering in her stance. Clarke looked at her. Lexa was a sentinel, a warrior, a leader.

A demon. Clarke looked into Lexa's eyes, and they were black, unshed tears in her eyes and it was then that Clarke realized what was happening. The weight of everyone's death had finally come down upon Lexa's mind, and she was breaking. All of the decisions she had made, for her people, for Clarke, they were all crashing down on her conscious, a part of her she had tried so hard to ignore so she could be the leader her people needed. Clarke strode over to the girl, clasping tan, bruised cheeks in her own blood soaked palms. They were both so guilty, of so many things, but innocence was something they strived to preserve through their guilt. They had strived to protect life, maybe Lexa needed to be reminded of such.

"Lives saved. Not lives taken. Remember, Lexa? You know this. I know this. We did it Lexa, the war is won, and even more lives have been saved." Clarke whispered, her voice hoarse as she herself struggled not to cry, but her tears would be of a different kind. Relief, all Clarke could bring herself to feel was relief. She had her friends back, her mom was safe, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven and everyone else were safe. Lexa was safe.

Lexa nodded, swallowing audibly, though Clarke pretended not to hear it for both of their benefit. Clarke let her thumb ghost over Lexa's tan cheek, gently caressing a slowly darkening bruises that threatened to mar her beauty. Of course, in Clarke's eyes, it failed to follow through with such a threat. She watched Lexa's eyes flutter closed as she pressed her cheek into Clarke's palm, the other pale hand tracing down her face to rest on her shoulder. Lexa sighed, and soon, Clarke did as well, pressing her fair-skinned forehead against Lexa's collarbone as strong arms came around to wrap themselves around her waist. Clarke let both of her hands rest on Lexa's collarbone, sighing again as she reveled in the closeness they shared. She remember their kiss, and struggled to repress a shudder. It had been amazing, but could it be repeated?

Suddenly, a voice sounded out, "Clarke! We've rounded up the last of the mountain men, and we've got the innocents on the second level where they'll be safe-" Abby stopped, taking in the sight of the Commander holding her daughter in her arms.

Clarke's head had risen the moment footsteps sounded on the concrete and steel floors, and stared at her mother, mouth slightly agape in surprise. "Mom, what is it?" Clarke asked, not making any plans to move from Lexa's arms. She was content, and after all of the bullshit that made up her life so far, didn't she deserve to enjoy the feeling?

"We could use help with the injured." Abby said, before sniping, "Unless you'd rather-"

The Grounder guards tensed at Abby's tone, as did the Commander, who snapped in a powerful tone, "You have no place speaking to you daughter like that, especially since she is the champion of this war. Know your place among the people of the Thirteen, Abby Griffin."

"The Thirteen?" Clarke asked gently, her palms still resting on Lexa's warm collarbone.

"Skaikru have become the thirteenth Clan, have they not? And since you are our allies, you are a member of the Twelve, making us Thirteen. Though I cannot command you like I do the Twelve." Lexa explained, "It is something that can be made official later in the month, after we all have recovered."

Clarke nodded.

Abby had been steaming, "You cannot immediately assume that we will become a part of your Twelve. We do not have to associate ourselves with your people anymore."

"Mom!" Clarke snapped, moving to confront her mother, but was held back by Lexa. Clarke let herself be enveloped by warm arms once more, calming slightly. Her mother noticed this, and her gaze became a questioning one that Clarke ignored, much to Abby's annoyance.

"Your recent Skaikru may not, but I am sure others would be willing. Remember, there are some you do not control." Lexa spoke defiantly, reminding Abby once again of how she had helped send 100 children to their potential deaths. She glanced at her daughter, and realized she definitely wasn't a child anymore. How quickly had such a change occurred? Could her daughter change back? Could someone do that for her?

"Fine, we can arrange for a meeting later in the month." Abby said gruffly, choosing to drop her questioning gaze and move on. She turned and saw only Cage's lifeless eyes, "I see you've taken care of their president."

Lexa nodded, "He was disposed of not long ago. Victory has been established and the imprisoned are being freed by my most agile of men. We must scale chasms full of cages. I will go assist with that soon."

"Should I send some people?" Abby offered, anything to show Clarke that she was trying.

Lexa shook her head, noting how Clarke pressed closer to her as she spoke, "Your people are not adept at climbing. This chasms are dangerous, and my people, Trigedakru, are the best climbers of all the Twelve."

Abby nodded, "Alright. Clarke, we could really use-"

Clarke shook her head, "I need to organize the 47. Homes are being built for all the living members in a special area. The others are receiving a special funeral."

"Their parents-"

"-Get no say. They all allowed us to go about getting murdered even after they came down. They get no say where they live, what they do and what they cannot." Clarke said firmly, the pads of her fingers pressing firmly into Lexa's collarbone.

Abby stewed in silence for a moment, thinking of what Kane would do. He would let it happen, he would attend the funeral and say his prayers. She nodded, "Alright. Be prepared to deal with resistance though, families are eager to have their children back and none are prepared to let go."

Lexa spoke up, her chest rumbling as she cleared her throat, "Visits are not a forbidden thing among any peoples, to my knowledge, Abby Griffin."

Clarke bit her lip, struggling to contain a small smile. They were in the middle of recently conquered enemy territory, with blood staining their bodies, wounds adding to the flow of red that surrounded the room, and Lexa just sassed her mother? Most amazing woman in the world.

Abby bristled, nodding in understanding before turning to walk away. She called over her shoulder, voice tinted with annoyance and anger, "I'll be helping in the medical bay."

Clarke smiled, tears of relief falling down her face as she let Lexa pull her close. The war was over, the people of the Trigedakru and Skaikru had been saved, and Lexa was holding her in her arms. Life, at that moment, felt like more than just surviving.

~o0o~

Bellamy had been searching high and low for Clarke in the Grounder camp outside of Mount Weather. He had wanted to actually see her for more than a passing glance as she went into post-war meetings and motivational speeches announcing various things he found far less important then her beauty. It was true, she was beautiful, even when sporting a new thin, pale scar that saddled the bridge of her fair-skinned nose.

Today, Bellamy was determined to find her. When he did, he would confess his feelings and they would be together, happy even in this world of death and pain. They would survive together. After all, hadn't they been doing just that all this time? Surely a romantic relationship wouldn't hinder their survivability together. It could only strengthen it.

An hour later, Bellamy finally laid his eyes on the object of his affection, and he smiled. Finally, he had found her, and he would make good use of his chance.

"Clarke!" Bellamy shouted, happy at finally seeing the girl after two weeks for more than a few seconds.

"Bellamy!" Clarke shouted in relief, running to meet her friend. Bellamy scooped her up into a big hug. There were barely any people in this area of the camp, not with Abby and Kane making announcements with Lexa on moving camp as soon as possible. Many Grounders wanted to go home, so any news pertaining to their families and towns was something they flocked to hear.

Bellamy spun Clarke around in her arms once, making Clarke giggle. Her giggling ceased, however, when Bellamy stopped to press his lips to Clarke's ever-soft ones.

Clarke froze, any reaction she could have given just out of the reach of her suddenly limited motor functions.

Lexa froze too.


	2. No Crying Over Liars and Runners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So glad people here on AO3 like this story! I'm at chapter nine right now on FFnet and I haven't been updating on here! Sorry about that, I'm trying to manage between the two.

Lexa didn't know what to do, what to say. No, she knew what she wanted to do, she wanted to punch Bellamy in the face. She knew what she wanted to say, too. She wanted to ask Clarke (and she so wouldn't be screaming) why the hell she had told her she wasn't ready for a relationship when she would end up starting one only two or so odd weeks later? She could have said no, and Lexa would have been better. But she lied, and that stung more than anything except the fact that Bellamy Blake was kissing her Clarke.

No, Lexa thought solemnly, swallowing a lump in her throat. Not my Clarke, his Clarke. I need to get out of here.

Lexa wouldn't hurt Bellamy. No, she was past hurting people for such trivial things. She would still be a ruthless leader, but she would seek peace. She was tired of fighting in wars, she was tired of cleaning her weapons and herself of blood, she was tired of killing. She didn't enjoy it, she didn't do it as a past time, she did it because she had to fight in wars that everyone deemed necessary. Everything she did because of her duty, because of what she had been born to do, just as Clarke had, though she had always been more reluctant. Every death weighed on her, until she had Clarke help her rationalize them all the same way she had helped Clarke.

No more help from Clarke.

No, no more help. She didn't need help from liars.

No more helping Clarke.

She had Bellamy now, didn't she? She didn't need Lexa's help any longer.

No more Skaikru.

No, no more Skaikru. She would help rebuild Tondc with her bare hands to an even greater level of glory. All of the towns of the Trigedakru would be rebuilt, or added on to. Buildings would be built greater, farms enlarged and connections forged between the Clans. Towns would become cities, trade routes would be solidified and protected, as would the surrounding nature from the Skaikru machinery. Together, they would become one true Clan. The Trigedakru would become more connected and powerful than they had ever been.

No, Lexa was not planning this all to distract herself.

Yes, she needed to get out of here to begin the reconstruction.

Lexa swallowed again, the lump bigger and even more painful to swallow before she closed her eyes, hoping to contain her tears. Two squeezed out from behind tan, paint covered eyelids. She really needed to get out of here, she had to get right on the construction, so she couldn't stay for anything. She turned on her leather-covered heel, and ran, her black long coat flapping behind her. A few more tears leaked down her face as she ran, but she wiped them away angrily, another lump forming in her throat.

I shed no tears for liars.

No, she would not cry for Clarke Griffin, because she was not one to cry for liars. She shouldn't be crying at all.

Damn you, Clarke Griffin. You made me weak.

The sound of a startled breathe and the hard slap of someone sprinting along the dirt had awoken Clarke's motor skills, and she shoved Bellamy away viciously, shouting "What the hell?!"

Clarke turned, and watch with dread and horror as a figure ran from the area, dressed in a black leather long coat that had been ingrained in her brain. It was Lexa's. Clarke began to panic. Lexa had seen the kiss. She obviously thought that Clarke was into Bellamy, seeing as she ran from the scene. She thought Clarke didn't return her feelings. Clarke's heart dropped into her stomach when she realized what the worst part of this all was.

Lexa thought she lied.

To lie was to label oneself unreliable, and in Grounder culture, so much of life and relationships was placed on the reliability to protect and provide for your partner and family. If you cannot provide truthful words, how could you provide food, shelter, and love? How could you provide protection? Clarke had, in Lexa's eyes, lied. She had destroyed all of the trust Lexa had placed in her, something that, for her to admit, was so difficult that it took threats and several intense stare-offs for Lexa do even mention the word.

Clarke moved to run after Lexa, confident that she could eventually catch up with her if someone stopped her for a word or two. She was depending on such a thing to occur if she ever had any hope of catching Lexa, she was far more physically fit. But someone always did, so Clarke's legs tensed for a millisecond as she prepared to take off after the Commander. She took her first step, and was surprised to find a hand close around her bicep and stop her. Clarke looked back to see Bellamy, eyes full of questions that Clarke really didn't want to answer.

"What is it? Is someone there?" Bellamy asked, worried. He didn't see Lexa, or hear her, too caught up in Clarke to notice anything but her. His worry was more for the reasoning behind why she pushed him away. He was confident that she like him back, and he would keep trying to get the girl, because this was just like the stories his mom read him and Octavia when they were kids. The guy, the hero always gets the girl. He would get Clarke, wouldn't he?

Clarke swallowed, tears threatening to come forth as she realized how big of a shit-storm Bellamy had just caused. It wasn't entirely his fault, Clarke should have pushed him away instantly, but she forgot how to move, and not in a good way. Sure, Bellamy was handsome, but all of her attraction, all of her love was directed towards Lexa, no matter how many times they kissed or how many times people told her that her and Bellamy would be cute together. Lexa was only possibility for her, and nothing could change that. Bellamy was a nice guy, but Clarke didn't want a nice Skaikru guy. She wanted a hard-headed, muscular Trigedakru Commander. Bellamy couldn't compete with someone on a different type of playing field.

"Nothing," Clarke responded. When Bellamy tried to step closer again, Clarke slammed a palm against his chest, knocking the wind out of him as she said firmly, "No. Not happening Bellamy."

Bellamy smiled cockily, thinking that Clarke was just playing hard to get. He could play that game too. "Aw c'mon Clarke, you know you-"

"-No, I don't!" Clarke shouted, eyes brimming with tears, "You have destroyed EVERYTHING!" By the end Clarke was screaming, gathering the attention of several Grounders who had returned to their tents after the announcements. They had finished quickly, allowing Lexa to get there in time to see Bellamy kissing her. The one fucking time her mother and Kane don't decide to rant about togetherness bullshit!

The cocky smile was wiped off of Bellamy's face the moment he saw Clarke's tear-infested eyes. "Clarke what did I-" He started, even more worried. What kind of rift would this create? Could they come back from it?

"Don't put your hands me again, Bellamy!" Clarke snapped, tears hanging to her eyelashes, slowly edging down to fall across fair-skinned cheeks. She wiped at her eyes desperately, choking back a frustrated sob. Clarke didn't spare Bellamy a second glance as she ran from him, a few tears escaping her sapphire blues as her legs pumped faster and faster. She ran towards Lexa's tent, knowing its placement by heart after only a few visits, desperate to immerse herself in those ever-familiar surroundings.

It only took Clarke five minutes of running to reach Lexa's tent, and by then, her vision was blurry and tears were flowing freely. But when she came upon where Lexa's tent usually resided, guards standing watch as usual with the same stoic, dangerous expression, there was nothing. An empty lot, where the grass had been removed, leaving behind compact, hard dirt. Holes from the posts of the tent could still be seen in the dirt, and it was still fresh. The tent had just been removed minutes ago, if not seconds ago.

Clarke gave a sigh of relief when she caught sight of Octavia, never more grateful that the two had come to an understanding. "Octavia!" Clarke called out desperately, hiccupping as she wiped away her remaining tears.

Octavia ran over, gripping Clarke's biceps as she looked at her worriedly, "What happened?"

Clarke took a deep breathe, and shook her head, "Not here," She choked out, and allowed herself to be lead to Octavia's and Indra's tent. Thankfully, Octavia's first was not present, so the two could talk in complete privacy.

"Okay Clarke," Octavia said gently, guiding Clarke to sit down on her bed beside her. "What happened?"

"B-B-B-" Clarke was a whirlwind of mixed up emotions. "Bellamy-y k-kissed me and L-Lexa saw and s-she r-ran from m-me. Her tent isn't th-there!" Clarke was soon wailing out her words, and Octavia pulled the girl into a hug, not minding the tears that stained her shirt.

"It's gonna be fine Clarke, shh, it's gonna be okay," Octavia ran her fingers through Clarke's hair soothingly, wishing Lincoln was there. Surprisingly enough, he was far better at comforting people than Octavia could ever dream to be. "Why would Lexa-"

"We kissed." Clarke sniffled, pulling away from Octavia to wipe at her face, staining her hands with her tears. She had fucked up so bad. "Before the b-battle. For t-twenty mis-s-s-i-ss-ippi's. I told her I wasn't r-ready."

Octavia's face morphed into a smile, before taking on a look of sympathy, and pulled Clarke into another hug, "It'll be okay, you just need to talk to- shit."

"What?" Clarke asked, wiping her face once more, gathering more tears in her palms.

Octavia sighed, looking guilty of something. "Lexa told me to inform Indra that she would be taking off to help rebuild Tondc, then she would go around to the other towns. Some sort of Trigedakru connections plan. Indra was - if she wanted - supposed to join her in Tondc. She told me she had big plans, and that me and Lincoln were welcome to join the caravan and find a place to build our homes or a community."

Clarke bit her lip, shaking with the force it took not to break down. Everything was ruined. The Trigedakru possessed some of the strongest and fastest horses in all the lands, aside from the Horse people, who bred them for a living. Lexa could be halfway to Tondc in the ten minutes since she ran. "I need to s-see her."

Octavia shook her head, "Come outside, Clarke, I need to show you something."

Octavia should be grilling Clarke on how she treated her brother, but she was so pissed at Bellamy that she couldn't care about being a good sister. He's an idiot, but he wasn't around when Clarke and Lexa bonded, however that may have been accomplished. He should have been a dork and asked for permission. Now Clarke was a blubbering mess because she thought the person she cared for in such a way had taken off because she was just as emotionally fucked up.

Okay, they were all a little emotionally fucked up, but they were pretty good people.

Octavia pointed at a tree, and Clarke gasped. The bark had splinted and their was a nasty looking indent, along with bits of fresh blood.

Lexa's blood. Clarke realized. The Commander had been angry enough, or depressed enough to lash out in anger. Anger was how she channeled all of her other emotions out of her, freeing her mind from their constraints to be the leader she needed to be. Or, she really needed to hit something.

Clarke's expression hardened, and the tears stopped. She wiped their remains from her face, clearing the wetness from her palm on her jeans. No use in crying for a runner. No, she would catch that runner and make her listen. Clarke Griffin took nothing lying down. She would make Lexa understand, she just needed to find her. That was where the problem lied. Tondc had stopped smoking a week ago, and the forests were something even the 100 struggled to navigate. Unless Clarke could convince a Grounder to lead her there, she would take several days to reach Tondc instead of several hours.

Clarke turned to look at Octavia, her expression unwavering. "I need to speak to Indra."


	3. Hurting Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, you all blew up my phone and I LOVED IT XD, so glad you guys are loving this story. Don't fret about the whole Lexa running away thing. I need you guys to realize that this poor girl is so emotionally fried that she can't deal with even more emotional frying. Her girlfriend was tortured and murdered, she's had to murder and torture people, she had to leave her people to die, she had to kill more people, she's been cut up pretty bad throughout the years. NOW ON TOP OF ALL THAT HEARTBREAKING STUFF, she saw the girl she loves kissing Bellamy, whom she was already jealous of. She's had her trust broken and her heart broken far too many times. (Costia, Nyko, mom and pop no doubt, now Clarke).
> 
> Yeah, makes you feel for her right? She deserves something and that something should be love. Who better to give it then someone who needs it just as much?

Indra said nothing as she glowered at Clarke, both the blonde artist and her Second having told the entire story, even the kiss that was shared between the Skaikru and her Commander. Indra could feel the rage coursing through her veins, and the vein beneath the tattoo on her forehead pulsed in her irritation. The Skaikru always managed to muck things up with her people, no matter how hard they tried, if they tried at all, to keep things running smoothly.

'Idiot Sky Girl! Gonplei dis Gunna Skaikru Heda. She is a fool.'

Indra inhaled, willing herself to clear her mind.

'No, she is not to blame, the Bellamy boy is. Heda should have let me kill them.'

Indra looked at Clarke. The girl, the leader looked so alone and lost, her eyes red and puffy. She was a strong girl, the strongest of the Skaikru, maybe even more than her Second. She would be a fine leader of the Trigedakru. Heda and her leading together? They would be unstoppable. Clarke Griffin had already earned the respect of the Trigedakru, so it would be an easy transition from friends to something more between her and the Commander. Killing the one known as Cage meant a lot to her people.

'No, I am glad she did not, otherwise she would not have found love.'

Indra had no doubt in her mind that Heda loved Klok kom Skaikru. Octavia had often spoken of Heda as 'Commander Heart Eyes', yet she had never explained the term to her, always blushing and looking away, muttering things like, "It's a Skaikru thing."

So now, she would ask, "So, does that have something to do with the term 'Commander Heart Eyes'? Octavia?"

Octavia gulped, noticing how Clarke's gaze snapped towards her instantly, questions swirling in her eyes amongst tears she held back with sheer force of will and her determination to reach Lexa. Might as well be honest about everything.

"Well, some of use who've been around you and Lexa for a while have noticed that she looks at you in this... particular way, like you're the most beautiful thing in the world. She's so head over heels for you, and it shows in the way she looks at you, so me, Lincoln and Raven call her 'Commander Heart Eyes', though Raven usually refers to her as 'Comm'."

Clarke felt a spark of possessiveness start a fire in the tinder within her heart. Since when did Raven and Lexa hang out? Since when did Raven give out nicknames? Clarke wasn't so sure she was happy that Lexa was integrating with good-looking population of Skaikru girls. But the feelings of possessiveness faded when she remember just how loyal Lexa had been to her, and how disloyal she had been to Lexa. Who the hell was she to get possessive over someone she wasn't with? They hadn't had any real commitments right? She hadn't initiated the kiss...

Then why the hell did she feel so bad?

"I see the conflict within your eyes, child. No, this is not truly your fault, but you feel terrible and you wish not to, because you have already shifted any possible blame onto the Bellamy boy. But you feel terrible because you know my Heda. You felt what you felt and you feel as though you may never feel it again, and the thought of knowing for the rest of your life that you could have caused such a loss is eating at you. Not to mention you know that Heda thinks you do not love her." Indra spoke factually, but the undertones of compassion and understanding made Clarke see the woman in a whole new light. Indra truly cared for her Heda, she cared for Lexa. 

"But I do love her!" Clarke cried, frustrated. "I would never-"

"Lexa knows none of this! She merely knows that you have put her off, and now she thinks she knows that you have put her off for eternity!" Indra interjected, gripping Clarke's biceps as Octavia had done before, but the pressure was increased. She needed Clarke to realize that Lexa would not hear any of these confessions, she needed to say these things to Lexa's face while she was still remotely calm in her 'running away mode'. It was better than a furious, irrational Lexa that wanted to murder Bellamy with her bare hands.

Clarke's jaw shut with an audible click and she nodded in understanding. "Will you help me find her?"

Indra nodded firmly, "We will meet the Commander in Tondc in three days. First, you must sort out your issues with Bellamy Blake, and if I am not mistaken, his heavy feet are stomping at the dirt in front of my tent as he paces."

Clarke froze at Indra's news, eyes wide with fear. She had just been forcibly kissed by her friend not thirty minutes ago, she wasn't ready to face him now and tell him that she could never be with him the way he wanted. She didn't want to break his heart, but she cared more for Lexa's heart and its state than she did Bellamy's. He wouldn't be fine, but he would have closure. Lexa had none, she only had heartbreak and, at this point, anger. Anger at Clarke, at Bellamy, at her horse Darjmere, at Clarke's horse Hawal, at everyone. Knowing Lexa, this was probably the case. But the girl had come up with a grand plan to rebuild the Trigedakru Clan up from the literal ashes into a Clan several times more powerful and productive. They would grow and become more. Maybe after a few days she would cool off a bit? Calm down, be a bit more reasonable?

Indra seemingly read Clarke's mind, "It will take a day to reach Tondc if we take appropriate breaks, and today is almost done, you have today to speak to Bellamy so we can leave tomorrow, or speak to him tomorrow and we leave the day after."

Clarke nodded, smiling a small, grateful smile, "Thank you, Indra."

"Thank me after you win over my Heda."

Clarke shook her head, smiling as Octavia snorted, telling her First, "I suggest you recommend, Indra, Clarke is a very thankful person when it comes to guidance in the rough water of the Heda."

Indra rolled her eyes, thumping her Second on the forehead, causing her to yelp and making Clarke laugh.

Her laughter ceased a few moments later, when Octavia was still rubbing a small pink spot on her forehead from where her First had thumped her. Indra turned to her, and said simply, "He is still there. It is time for you to be brave in the face of what Heda considers the greatest weakness. Love. Unrequited makes it all the worse."

Not helping Indra!

Clarke nodded, "I'll talk to him," Clarke then added, for Octavia's sake, "I'll be gentle about it."

"Don't be," Octavia said gruffly, "He forced himself onto you, at least Lexa was all gentle and sensual."

Clarke blushed, shaking her head. "Alright then."

With that, Clarke marched from Indra and Octavia's shared tent, chin held high as she moved to break unfortunate news to one of her greatest friends.

 

Clarke did not want to do this. At all. In a million years maybe. Maybe a couple million? She felt so awkward even thinking about speaking to Bellamy about his feelings and her lack of them. Clarke knew, however, that she was not in the wrong here, and neither was Bellamy. He couldn't hold her lack of feelings against her for any reason, and she couldn't hold his abundance of feelings against him either. Though, Clarke could hold his lack of timing against him if she felt like it. No, Clarke wouldn't be mad at Bellamy, he had done no wrong... yet.

If he does, Lexa can never know or she'll kill him.

Bellamy wasn't stupid, so Clarke didn't expect him to do something that bad. He was a good friend, and Clarke trusted him with her life, so what was there to be worried about? This would go off without much of a hitch and soon they could all get over this mess. If it wasn't that easy, Clarke would find another way.

When she left the tent, Bellamy stopped pacing, his shoulders slouching as he sighed in relief, "Clarke, I was so worried. I'm sorry if me kissing you freaked you out. This isn't how I planned our relationship starting-"

"-Bellamy," Clarke interjected, nervous about his reaction, "Our 'relationship' won't ever be starting. I can't- I don't feel that way about you Bellamy."

Bellamy's face fell like an Angel from Grace, his jaw clenching viciously before his entire expression twisted into one of petty rage. "It's Lexa isn't it," Bellamy spat Lexa's name as though it were poison, "I saw you two staring into each others eyes. You were too busy looking at her to realize that your friend, who risked his life for you wanted to say hi after not seeing you in months."

Clarke's brow furrowed as she lashed out, eager to dispose some of her pent up emotions. "Don't try and make this all about you Bellamy! This is about what you seem to think there is between us! There is nothing and I'm sorry if I can't love you the way I love her!"

Bellamy looked as though he were a puppy that Clarke had kicked, before he darkened, face akin to a storm cloud before he spoke again, voice thick with an emotion that Clarke couldn't place. "Can we take this somewhere private? We're drawing an audience."

Clarke looked around, and noticed that many Grounders, soldiers that spoke English, stopped and watched the two, brows furrowed or raised in thought and question. Clarke definitely didn't need them knowing about her lack of feelings for Bellamy. That was knowledge she needed Lexa to know, and maybe then they could all move on. Though, judging from the look on Bellamy's face, it would take a long while for him to move past this. Clarke sighed, nodding. She had lost too many friends to death and disease to lose yet another to something as trivial as a crush. 

But, as Clarke walked behind Bellamy towards a small cluster of young saplings, she realized one very important thing.

She didn't know if what Bellamy felt was just a crush. Did he love her?

Oh God, I'm just hurting everyone.


End file.
